


Fish Face

by LostOzian



Category: Homestuck
Genre: All Grown Up Now, Coitus Interruptus, Cronus is an awful person, D/s undertones, Exhibitionism Kink, F/M, Femdom, First Time, Hookup Sex, Humanstuck, Improvised Bondange, Improvised Sex Toys, Oral Sex, Who has good sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 02:32:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5112965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostOzian/pseuds/LostOzian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I will break down doors and throw people out to get a room with Feferi. I will build a fucking extension to the Vantas Shack to get a room with Feferi. I think I’m shaking. I think I’m going to have a fucking aneurism. I’m gonna do that shitty thing that happens in Japanese anime porn where blood just spews out of my nose like a geyser.</p><p>Cuz I’m kind of a virgin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fish Face

**Author's Note:**

> A prompt response from Homesmut: the reason I wrote this is the OP used the phrase "Cronus... facefirst and busy between [Feferi's] thighs." And somehow that turned into 8,000 words.
> 
> Enjoy?

Alright, first thing you gotta know about me is, I’m a pretty complicated guy. I didn’t get an easy ride like some suckers. Basically been me against the world for as long as I can remember. But I’m not looking for your sympathy either. This is just my lot in life, the demons I’m fated to battle, all that. And as much as it hurts, I don’t want anyone to pity me. I’m above that.  
  
See? Complicated.  
  
The thing is, I’ve got an artist’s soul. Poet’s heart. Orpheus’s fingers. Siren’s voice, if I say so myself. But we don’t appreciate sirens and poets and shit the way we used to. Like, culture doesn’t. You would not believe how many people have taken my demo, promised to call me, and then never rang. You would not believe how many of them weren’t even that hot! Like maybe my demo isn’t your thing, but we could at least get drinks? Coffee? Nothing. Bunch of stuck-up twits.  
  
Music industry in New York is lethal. They say, make it there make it anywhere, but that’s a hunk of shit. Music in New York has its head shoved up its own ass. Like, unless you’re some phony generic pop bimbo, they don’t even give you the time of day. I am a virtuoso—that’s a really versatile musician—but I’m not gonna compromise my art for a record deal.  
  
Plus my old man says he’s not gonna send me rent money anymore. What’d I tell you? Me against the world.  
  
So here’s the deal, I’m back home for like, a few weeks while I try to figure out how to get all my shit to Memphis—not giving up, see, and sure as fuck not living at home—when I figure, hey! There’s a ton of people around who probably want to see me! I used to run with this whole crew in high school. Those were good times. I futz around on my phone to try and get the band back together.  
  
I get a whole lot of nothing for my effort. I leave a tasteful number of messages for Meenah. Few extra for Kankri, mostly because his condescending voicemail message pissed me off. Porrim picked up but said she didn’t recognize my number. What, like she didn’t have it saved to my contact? She said she was busy, but didn’t say with what. Aranea was still at school, even though it’s summer break because she’s like, a history doctorate candidate—which is such a lie, does she think I’m stupid? Doctors study  _medicine_. And the rest of them don’t even pick up!  
  
Fuck those jerks.  
  
I’ve got my door open, so I see Eridan trying to sneak down the hall. He’s got his own hipster duds on, which only looks half-cool because he’s my little brother and, according to DNA, part me. So I ask him where he’s going, because it’s after dinner and there’s nothing to do in this town after 8.  
  
“Oh, uh, thought I’d stretch my legs. Y’know. Take a walk.”  
  
Bull. Shit. I’m onto him like a shark onto blood. “Mind if I come with you?”  
  
“Cro, you really don’t have to—”  
  
I’m up off my bed with my arm across his shoulders in two seconds flat. “Nah, I think I should. Been a while since we had any kind of brotherly chat, y’know?”  
  
“Actually, I was going to meet some people—”  
  
 “Really?!” I act all shocked. I would’ve been a great actor, but no casting directors ever called me back either. “Like who?”  
  
“Just, y’know. High school pals.”  
  
Eridan’s friends were pimply middle schoolers when I was in high school and saw them all the time. Then when I was in college they were high schoolers and I only saw them like, out of the corner of my eye on breaks. And I remember thinking some of them were like, okay-cute. As a perfect gentleman, I never said  _anything_  to them about how they looked or how, uh, far they had to grow. Buncha late bloomers, Eridan’s friends, if they bloomed at all.  
  
“Sounds like a wild night,” I say. “Count me in.”  
  
“No one  _invited_  you, Cro!”  
  
“C’mon, the more the merrier! What, are you gonna tell your own brother to stay away?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Cold, man. I’ll make it worth your while!”  
  
“How?!”  
  
“I’ll buy a case of beer.”  
  
“I was gonna buy.”  
  
Oh, shit, forgot. Eridan’s 21st happened this year. No more leaning on old Cro for booze. So I change gears and say, “You know if you don’t take me with you, I’m gonna follow you.”  
  
“Can’t I just hang out with my friends in fucking peace?! Why do you have to ruin  _everything!?_ ”  
  
“I’m bored! You know how sleepy this town is compared to the Big Apple? I was partying every night with the big shots and the rising stars!”  
  
“And none of them wanted to house you?”  
  
“Tiny apartments, you know how it is. Are you gonna stop being a bitch and let me come, or what?”  
  
He does this huge, dramatic sigh. I know he’s faking. Not about being annoyed, but about how much it annoys him. He used to pull that shit all the time when he was a little brat, too. It’s how he convinced Dad every fight was my fault, which is part of why I’m such a tormented soul.  
  
“God, FINE! But when they decide they don’t want you there, I told you so.”  
  
Whatever. Like a bunch of kids are gonna kick out a cool older guy.

 

* * *

 

So the venue is the Vantas place, alright? Which first off is total bullshit, I called Kankri like twenty times and he didn’t fucking pick up. Of all my buddies, he ignores me the least. If he’s home, I’m kicking his ass. I suppose Vantas the Younger is shouty and pissy enough that when he calls his friends actually  _come_. Good to know that people like it when you treat them like shit, am I right? Unbelievable.

It’s a busier place than I expected. Like, I think a few of Van-tiny’s college friends are visiting from out of town. There’s some unfamiliar faces with buckteeth running around—one boy with a great ass, damn—and a new girl liplocked with Mini Maryam. They look pretty hot goin’ at it, but Eridan elbows me.  _Apparently_  it’s some sort of crime to look at people when they’re making out in public. Thanks for updating me on the rules, bro.  
  
So I grab a beer that Eridan bought, mix and mingle around with the youngsters. At least they’re all over eighteen. At least, I hope they’re over eighteen. Fuck. I recognize a fair number of little siblings. What the hell were our parents thinking, having one group of kids all at once and another almost exactly the same number of years later? Did they all take a pregnancy pact? Were our parents even that good friends with each other? I don’t even want to know. The most I figure out is Kankri isn’t blowing me off either, since he’s out of state with some nerd conference on diversity. He can stay home for diversity! We’ve got all colors of asshole here.  
  
This is all a pretty long way of saying that I’m pissed as shit when I decide to go outside for some fresh air. This is part of the reason I’m an artist. I’m just so misunderstood all the time, y’know? And it’s hard to find love, too. In a small town everyone’s so closed-minded, and in the big city everyone’s too indifferent. There’s no  _love_  there, you know?  
  
Then these two girls walk out the front door and I kind of stop thinking about love for a minute.  
  
One of them is one of the new bucktoothy kids, with round glasses and long hair. She’s not bad on the eyes, but she’s got this hippie-look that makes me feel like she doesn’t take care of herself, y’know? Like I’d take her shirt off and find a face full of armpit hair. She slips in with the mid-low rungs of my Fuckability Leaderboard.  
  
But her  _friend?_  Her friend breaks the damn scale. Since I’ve been telling you the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I’ll stick with the honesty and say I first noticed her tits. She’s wearing a halter bikini top held up with strings, and there ain’t even a pool around for miles. That’s just her style apparently, to keep a pair of jaw-dropping boobs on display. So this also means I can see ALL of her arms, her stomach, all the way down to these little cutoff shorts with the pockets hanging below the frayed hems. I wonder if she’s got a bikini bottom under them. And if it’s got strings. And if I can untie them with my teeth.  
  
I’m watching them leave, both of them sporting curtains of dark hair—Hottie’s cascade is longer, fuller, goddamn I wanna wrap myself up in it—and I shout out before they can walk away: “Ey, dolls—ladies! Ladies, where ya going? Leaving already?”  
  
They turn back at me. I drop my unlit cigarette because that unlit-smoke-in-my-teeth trick only worked on one dude once and he didn’t even give me his number, the prick. I smile at them. Jane of the Jungle looks like she doesn’t know what to think, but Tits McHotass gives me this smile like I just made her day. If she gives me the chance, I’ll make her night, too.  
  
“We were just stepping out to get more ice!” Hot Stuff sings. Fuck, even her voice is hot. I think I’m getting stiff just standing there.  
  
“Lemmie help you with that! It’s a long walk to the gas station.”  
  
“We were going to take my truck,” Flower Child says.  
  
I’m off the porch following them. “You could still use an extra hand, right? Make me carry the cold, heavy stuff.”  
  
“It depends. Are you willing to ride in the cab?” Habanero Hottie asks.  
  
“Is there a seat belt? Otherwise one of you might have to sit on my lap.”  
  
“It’s got a seat belt.” Granola Girl shuts me down. Worth a shot. The sweet POA giggles like I said something funny. Can you really find that kind of innocence in college age girls these days?  
  
So they stick me in the pickup truck’s cab. I’m eating my knees behind Shaveless in Seattle while she drives and Venus herself rides shotgun. I swear I’m never riding bitch seat in a pickup again, but damn if this doesn’t give me the perfect view to watch the bounce of her boobs as we hit what feels like every pothole on the way from Vantas to the gas station. Damn. The bikini top does barely more than cover them.  
  
We chit-chat. I tell them about how many agents I met with and how much music I recorded in New York. They tell me they’re still in college—Eridan’s friends?—and the sloppy chick, Jade, is a double-major physicist and mechanical engineer while the one with the rockin’ body—name not given, I promise I was listening for it—is a marine biologist. I’m wise enough to know that marine biologists don’t wear bikinis, so this chick is either awful at her major or looking for some action.  
  
I bust out my best aquatic pickup line. “So, you must be a pretty good swimmer, huh?”  
  
“Yep! It’s a ton of fun,” she says.  
  
“I’m a pretty awesome swimmer, too. They gave me awards for my breast stroke.”  
  
“Gross!” Jade interjects.  
  
“What?” her friend blinks these huge doe-eyes at her. “What’s gross about that?”  
  
“Do you not get it!?”  
  
“He’s a competitive swimmer! I think that’s really cool!”  
  
Uh-huh. Right. Sweet fuck, how innocent  _is_  this girl? Maybe she goes to a lady college and doesn’t understand that if she keeps being this cute every man in a ten-block radius is gonna punch a hole in their pants with their dicks. I start thinking if I don’t get the chance to fuck her tonight I’m gonna completely fucking lose it. This isn't like the hot dudes and chicks from New York who would have been perfectly awesome to spend a night or two with. I feel like I would beg on hands and fucking knees to touch a single inch of this girl… but like, I’ve never begged like this. I’ve begged, but not like this… which makes me feel like the begging is all from my end. I can’t tell if I like it. I want to fuck her too badly. Like, I’m not even applying standards here, she could truss me up in a lobster costume and I wouldn’t care so long as it led to sex.  
  
That… was weird. Forget I said it.  
  
“Hey… Cronus, right?” my bikini-clad aphrodisiac said. “How long will you be in town?”  
  
“Just another week or two, if I can swing it,” I tell her. “Gonna move my music down to Memphis. I was out-growing the New York scene, y’know.”  
  
“Oh no!” she turns around and gives me this puppy-dog pout. Her eyes are huge and starry and oh my fucking god my dick is gonna sprain itself if I don’t get to fuck her! “So I might not see you again after this?”  
  
“…’Fraid not,” I say. “So we better make the most of the now.”  
  
So we show up at the gas station and I’ve got this raging boner but I can’t not get out of the car and try and help the girls. Luckily they pile me down with like four bags of ice—how many beers are they trying to ice?!—but at least it hides my stiffie as I haul the giant icebricks into the back of the pickup.  
  
While Jade’s paying and once the ice is in the flatbed, Miss Universe leans next to me and flips her hair a little. Good god she's hot. A lesser man would have creamed his pants. I am not a lesser man. I just lean against the side of the truck so she can’t see.  
  
“Hey,” she says. “Do you really not recognize me?”  
  
Ohhhhhhhhhhh  _shit_. She is trying to catch me in a lie and ruin my chances of getting to fuck her. The correct answer is “of course I do!” and then details of who she is and how I know her but damn, I’d  _remember_  meeting a dame this fine.  
  
I laugh. “Yeah, I’ve… I’ve seen you before, um—running through my dreams.”  _God_ , I should not have gone with that. That is an awful use of that line. God fucking dammit.  
  
She doesn’t seem phased by it though. Rather than feeling all offended that I forgot a hot babe, she’s like… entertained, I think? She laughs again, and this time puckers her lips, bugs her eyes, and flutters her hands beside her cheeks. It’s a fish face.  
  
Fish face… Fish face…  
  
_Oh my fucking god!_  
  
“Fefishy!” I blurt out, and she almost doubles-over laughing at me. Oh god, oh fuck, Feferi Peixes! This is Meenah’s baby sister, the swim team beanpole who was like, that obsessive horse girl you had in your class, except for dolphins. I remember Feferi Peixes as a kid with braces and knotty curls and bobby sock tan lines, not as a gorgeous knockout with all those right-places curves.  
  
“You finally recognize me!” she giggles.  
  
“Goddamn! Wow, just—wow! You’re so grown-up now!”  
  
She does a twirl. A fucking twirl. “I think I feel more grown-up, too. Did you get that feeling, coming home from college and thinking everything was so much smaller now?”  
  
“Totally. I totally got that feeling,” I agree. “But some things get bigger…”  
  
“I think I see where you’re coming from there,” she steps a little closer to me. She’s definitely ‘up in my face,’ but like, in a hot way. Feferi was not even on my radar before I met her again tonight because I’m not a creeper, alright? But knowing she’s Meenah’s baby sister—almost  _my_  baby sister with how close our families are—makes her even hotter, if that even was possible.  
  
“When we get back to the party… get me a beer, then get us a room,” she whispers. “I think we’ve got some catching up to do.”  
  
I will break down doors and throw people out to get a room with Feferi. I will build a fucking extension to the Vantas Shack to get a room with Feferi. I think I’m shaking. I think I’m going to have a fucking aneurism. I’m gonna do that shitty thing that happens in Japanese anime porn where blood just spews out of my nose like a geyser.  
  
Cuz I’m kind of a virgin.  
  
“You got it, babe,” I say, pretending hard as I can that I’m not about to die. That would be just my luck if I died right when my life was about to change forever. Before I can say much else, Jade comes back and they shove me in the cab again. Feferi and Jade spend the whole time making chit chat while I’m sitting there a little more openly transfixed by her bikini top. I’m thinking about my life up to this point. I'm thinking about all the people who ever told me to get lost, everyone who looked at me and saw something wrong. I’m thinking about my first kiss with Mituna and how it only happened because I told him it was a good luck charm and then Kurloz broke my jaw.  
  
But Baby Fefishy is gonna change that. She’s grown up. She knows what she wants. She wants me.

 

* * *

 

I plunge my hand in the cooler of mostly-melted ice for the last beer at the bottom of the cooler while Jade pours ice right into it. “Watch it!” I growl at her.  
  
“Sorry! I just thought you needed to cool down!” she chirps. She’s not fucking sorry. She did that on purpose. Feferi has decided to rummage around in the fridge for a minute, and I’m playing that delicate game where I try to look like I’m not staring at her ass but I’m staring at her ass.  
  
I drop my voice a little. “Look, do you need me to find you someone before you’ll step off?”  
  
Jade smiles like a hunter. Like she could put a bullet between my eyes at a hundred yards, no scope. And I kind of get the message before she even says anything.   
  
“I haven’t heard very nice things about you, Cronus, but Feferi knows what she’s doing. I trust her.”  
  
 “So you can vouch that she’s good?” I smirk at her.  
  
She dips her fingers in the ice water and flicks drops into my face. “Bad dog. Sit. Stay.”  
  
“What the hell, gaah—!”  
  
“Jade?” Feferi reappears. She’s got something bunched in one hand. “If it gets too late and you want to go home, don’t wait for me.”  
  
“You sure?”  
  
“Super sure! Go have fun. Don’t worry about me.”  
  
Jade hugs Feferi—they hug for a few seconds more than normal, is Feferi saying something to her?!—but when they release Feferi takes my hand. “You found that room yet?”    
  
“I’m on it.”  
  
I know where Kankri's room is, but I avoid it. He’d lecture the virginity back into me if he found out I fucked a girl in his room. So I choose the first room that has an open door and a bed. I say a quick prayer that it’s not Old Man Vantas’ room, not that it’d be any better if it was Karkat’s. It’s crazy clean and well-organized, and that’s all I can tell.  
  
The instant I get the door closed, I’m all  _over_  Feferi. She’s that perfect few-inches shorter than me, where I lean down but don't have to crouch. I kiss her hard as I can, so she knows how much I want it, and I get a hand on that ass too. Jesus Christ, I can't believe I’m kissing her. This is the hottest girl at this party, a fucking mermaid princess, and I’m  _kissing_  her—  
  
—And she's pulling my hair back. My lips pop off hers, and she gives me this look like I’m a puppy who knocked over a flowerpot. “You don't do this very often, do you?” she says.  
  
“Are you kidding? I got so much game in New York, you wouldn’t believe…”  
  
She doesn’t believe. But she's polite about it. “Maybe I’m just a little more delicate than New York girls,” she says. Which is nice because no one really tries to spare my feelings ever. She takes my hand and has me sit down on the bed, but she stays standing. I’m staring up at her tits and face and her eyes and it’s prettier than a sunset over a rainbow painted by Da Vinci.  
  
“Just sit back and let me do the work for a little bit, okay?” she winks at me. She’s doing this sex-kitten thing and all I can do is nod at her and not choke on my tongue. She takes her hands and slips them under my jacket on my shoulders, and she slides it down, and… it’s so slow. It feels like it takes ten fucking minutes and it's somehow even hotter than every button-popper porno I’ve ever seen where people want each other so bad they rip clothes and ask questions later. I feel like she wants me just as much as those actors. I want her ten times as much.  
  
She does the same thing to my shirt. Her fingertips give me goosebumps. I think I groan when her touch reaches my chest. She just laughs again and gets the collar over my head, and lets my arms flow where they need to get the tee off.  
  
“Very good,” she says. She leans down and kisses my cheek all delicate, like a flower petal. She moves closer to my lips and... and it’s way different this time. Like just going light and slow is all it takes. Like… like the way lighting a match at midnight is so brighter than a bonfire at noon. I need to put that in a song.  
  
Later. She keeps kissing me, soft and gentle. She parts her lips a little, and I am doing my absolute best to copy her so I don't do it wrong. We’re going at her pace, and I’ve completely lost track of time when she slips me a little tongue. I’ve read stories and stuff where they talk about the foreplay kissing as a time when you like, fight to find out who’s on top, but there’s no fight. The match was decided the moment she told me to sit down. This is Feferi’s show.  
  
She breaks from the kiss, and there’s that dark little spark in her eyes I thought I would never see. “ _Much_  better,” she croons. I grin, and I probably look… uh, short on common sense. Feferi reaches behind her neck and pulls on a string. Her bikini top lurches, and she peels down the cups to show me literally the most perfect breasts I’ve ever seen. Her nipples are basically right at eye level for me.  
  
“Just like kissing,” she threads one hand behind my head and pulls me closer to her left boob. And I guess—I guess she wants me to kiss her boob? I center in on her nipple and do what she was doing to my mouth, little bit open, real slow, like I’m trying to very gently massage her with my lips. She sighs, so I have to be doing something right.  
  
Feferi starts up this thing where her fingers stroke the back of my neck. I feel two fingers kind of doing this little rhythmic rub. So I tried using my tongue and licking her nipple. And that’s apparently the right answer, since her other hand falls on my shoulder and grips as she squeaks. The fingers go in a circle; I do a circle. The fingers and thumb pinch, I bite. I know for a fact that without that pressure on my neck I would have bit a lot harder, and probably hurt her like a moron. But whatever I did was just right. Feferi is squirming, rubbing her thighs together and gasping as I keep going. She pulls me off once but that's just to make me switch boobs.  
  
I’m kind of in heaven. She hasn’t even touched me and I think I could come. I’ve never heard a woman—fuck, a person—sound like that before. No one’s ever sounded like that because of me. I know I’m god-awful and Feferi must be a saint for putting up with my incompetence but she  _did_ , and I think I’m doing something right now, and she likes it, and she likes me—  
  
When she next pulls me off she swoops in to kiss me, a bit more like that kiss I tried to lead with. She’s still far gentler than that, but she kisses like “thank you.” I just open my mouth to let her kiss me, like “you’re welcome…” No, not quite. It’s like one of those fancier, more submissive ones. Like “it’s my pleasure” or “I am your humble servant.”  
  
Good  _God_ , how the hell is this sex goddess the former Fefishy?  
  
Feferi pulls back again and with intense focus, sets about opening my jeans. Oh shit. Oh shit. Ohhhh shit, shit, shit, shit, this is happening… She doesn’t even take off my pants before she goes for my cock. Just pulls it out of my boxers. Her hand is weirdly cold, but I don’t even give a fuck. She strokes me a little bit and I can’t keep my spine still, I’m doing everything I can to hold it back.  
  
“Oh man, you want it  _bad_ …” she whispers. “How are you going to last?”  
  
I want to say something full of bravado like ‘baby I’ll go all night for you’ but I don’t. I don’t want to disappoint her if I can't make good. I just wheeze out something like “dunno,” and she giggles again.  
  
“Luckily I have some options.” She reaches into her little bitty pocket and pulls out… rubber bands? They’re the big thick ones that they put on stalks of broccoli and celery and shit at the grocery store. “I think these will be just the right size, big boy.”  
  
It fries my brain that she’s called me ‘big boy,’ so I don’t ask what she’s about to do with them. Turns out she slips one over the head of my cock, and shimmies it down until it rests at the base. So it's a cock ring now? I will never look at vegetables the same. The pressure’s tight, but not overwhelming, so she slips a total of three on for good measure. I can’t forget that they’re on me, but other than that it’s pretty comfortable.  
  
“How are you feeling, Cronus?” she asks me.  
  
“Fucking awesome,” I say.  
  
“No STIs, right?”  
  
“None.” Never had a chance to get any, but that’s more detail than she needs.  
  
“And we’re using a condom, got it?”  
  
“Anything.” I realize that’s a little desperate, so I add, “I mean, I’m wearing veggie bands on my dick, wearing a condom is no big.”  
  
She laughs, and I get another kiss for that. “You’re pretty cute after all.”  
  
I melt. She still has her bikini tied around her ribs, so she undoes that and lets the suit top rest on the bed next to me. “Let’s see how much you can still feel down there.”  
  
Feferi’s got this bracelet, like I think they call them power beads or something hippie like that. It’s this set of small round pink beads, same size all around, on a stretchy band. She slips it off her wrist and around my cock too, putting a cross at the point right where it fits around.  
  
Then she slides it up and down. And shit, that feels so crazy. It’s great but it’s crazy. The beads are hard, unyielding, but they surround me and she moves them like a hand job, and then she adds her other hand and it’s a  _real_  hand job and I’m dying all over again. My lips are flapping like a dumbass and it’s all “oh” and “God” and “Feferi.” I put my hands on my knees and  _grip_  like no tomorrow to keep from falling over.  
  
She slows down. “How's that feeling?”  
  
“Fuck, it's good… How’d you learn to do that?”  
  
“My friends and I share tips!”  
  
“Do you practice on each other, too?”  
  
Feferi smiles and leans a little closer. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” she says. “Now, are you going to take my pants off or do I have to do it myself?”  
  
She doesn’t need to tell me twice. I shuck her of those booty shorts and yep, that’s a bikini bottom to match the top. It’s got two little bows on either side holding it up. Wow.  
  
“Can I get that off with my teeth?” I ask her.  
  
“Sure? You can try if you like!”  
  
I hold the loops out of the way and take hold of one of the strings. And I tug. The knot is too fucking tight. Dammit, why does a fucking piece of spandex or whatever the hell they make swimsuits out of have to thwart me!? I try hard as I fucking can but that knot isn’t budging. So I do the next best thing and just bite the knot and try and pull it down, but I can’t get too far on one side before the other is stopping me, so I’m like, schizophrenically switching back and forth between biting on either side of her hips, and it’s even harder because her choice ass keeps it up in the back … And yeah that’s arguably one of the most pathetic things I’ve done in my life.  
  
Feferi takes pity on me and slides her bikini down once I’ve moved it a few inches. Her pussy looks like a goddamn dream. She’s got her legs shaved, but some bush. I would’ve thought swimmers need to shave the whole business, but either it’s not such a big deal or she doesn’t swim team anymore. A part of me balks at putting my face in it because pubes are so gross. The rest of me says  _She wants to fuck you and this is the hottest thing you’ve ever done, are you really gonna wig out over a little hair?_  
  
The rest of me wins.  
  
She sets her bottom aside with her top. I catch a glimpse of slick out of the corner of my eye and there’s this rush of validation with it. She wasn’t faking before. She’s really fucking  _wet_  over me.  
  
“Stand up,” she tells me.  
  
I do.  
  
“Let me sit.”  
  
I move aside for my now-naked princess to perch herself on the edge of this bed with an unknown owner. She points at the ground in front of her closed knees. “Kneel.”  
  
I do. My knees are shaking on the way down. I never thought I’d be this close to someone naked. I can't believe I still have my pants on. I guess I could take them off but the way Feferi is staring at me makes it hard to look away. Like I’m playing this huge horny guessing game with the inside of her brain and I can’t make myself move unless I’m sure I got the right answer to what she wants next.  
  
What she does is she picks up her discarded top. She ties a little knot back in the halter part, then fits the knot between my teeth. It's like a bit or something. Then she makes another knot at the back of my head, I think? I can’t see what she's doing. But she’s got a lot of stringy strap left to hold in her hands and give an experimental tug. It moves me forward an inch, then back.  
  
“How does this feel? Is anything too tight, or chafing?” she talks to me like a patient nurse.  
  
Chafing is a no. It’s awkward as fuck to have a string between my teeth, but I can still mostly move. I nod and say “uh-huh” around the string.   
  
"I wish I had more to work with, but you caught me by surprise!" She laughs, and boops my nose. "Has anyone ever told you you look cute like this, Cronus?"

No, actually. I think only Eridan has called me cute, when he was being a little bitch and teasing me. I teased him back twice as good, trust me. And it occurs to me right now that Eridan had a "secret" crush on Meenah's baby sister through like all of middle school. This is the perfect comeuppance and—  
  
Feferi doesn't let me keep thinking. She tugs the strings and pulls me forward between her legs. I smell her first, damp and kinda salty-sour. It's like nothing I've ever encountered before and I drank a lot of weird shit in college.  
  
"Kiss," she orders. I think I'm shaking, but I have to take the plunge. I want to. If you told me four hours ago I'd end this night eating out the hottest girl in the party I'd just laugh at you and feel bad that it wasn't gonna happen. But I want to do this, I want to be that guy who has game and gets laid and that includes doing freaky sex things on other people. I want her to leave this party thinking 'Cronus was great.'  
  
So I do as she says. It's hard as fuck since I've got that string in my mouth but I brush my lips against her pussy. The hairs are about as weird as I expected, but nowhere near as gross as I feared. I figure it's payback for whatever stubble is left on my chin. Eventually, I figure out how to do it, and I am officially making out with her cunt. This isn't exactly how I pictured good old cunnilingus going, since I would've dove right in with tongue laving, but Feferi knows best. She wants little pussy kisses, she has got them.  
  
She holds tight on the strings, but adds her hand on my head. She musses my hair. She gets back in that finger-dictation thing where I know how hard and fast she wants it because of what she does with her fingers. There's this little stroke that I think means tongue. It meant tongue last time I was licking her.  
  
The knot between my teeth makes this crazy awkward, but I decide to go under and poke my tongue out. The taste of her is way more intense now. The texture still gets me most though. Fuck she is slick. Like lube is one thing, but she's slick and so hot and I feel kind of crazy about it? It's the perfect contradiction of my life, like Feferi Peixes does not have a pleasant flavor but I would rather die than stop licking her like the ambrosia of life.  
  
It takes a little longer than it did with her nipples, but Feferi pokes and shifts and holds me where she wants. Where she starts to sigh and squeak again. Where she starts to  _moan_.  
  
"Aaaann... Ooh, yes, good... There, keep it up there," she's groaning. I can't get a very good look at her from my enviable position at her snatch, but I catch a glimpse. Her deep breaths make her chest bounce. Her eyes are screwed up tight while her mouth hangs open. Her legs are starting to clamp around my ears but I want her to clench harder. She's so fucking turned on. And  _I'm_  the one who turned her on this much. I have nothing at my disposal but my dumb little tongue-wiggle, tiny little licks that I keep going at fast as I can. Her slick is covering my chin. I can't believe no one tells you slick is gonna get all over your chin when you eat a girl out.  
  
I'm aching basically everywhere. My knees on the floor, my tongue trapped in the bikini strings, my jaw hanging loose, my spine but that's probably not Feferi's fault that's a lifetime of slouching, and most of all my cock. Her rubber bands are holding strong but fuck I've been hard for what feels like goddamn hours and I just want her to do something about it. Let me fuck her, blow me back, hand job, make me hump a pillow with her foot on my back, I do not know ups to express how few fucks I give about how she does it just that she fucking  _give it to me._  Her moaning sounds like it's reaching a fever pitch and it's all going straight to my dick. I am waiting on my goddess's mercy.  
  
"Just like that—just like that—!"  
  
You should give me a medal for how 'just like that' I stayed. Everything was sore and wanted to quit but Feferi said just like that and I wasn't about to disappoint her—  
  
" _What in the name of shit is going on here?!_ "  
  
Oh god. Oh fuck, oh man, did I not put a sock on the handle? I have been waiting ever since puberty for the chance to put a sock on the handle and I missed it?! And now someone's walked in and the mood is dead and—  
  
I try to pull back but Feferi is having none of it. Between her hand, get thighs, and her bikini top, I am not going anywhere. Her nails curl insistently on the back of my neck. Feeling a little helpless and a lot stupid, I start licking her again.  
  
"Hey Karkat! This is—ah—great party~" she chirps. Ice runs down my spine because that's Kankri's little shit brother, but Feferi still sounds so breathless and pleased and I'm gonna give you three guesses why but the first two don't count. It's because I've still got my tongue on what I'm pretty sure is her clit, okay?  
  
"Sweet mother of ass-chafing fuck, this is not what I wanted to see," Karkat gripes. “Is that—do you have him in a bridle made out of your swimsuit?!"  
  
"Uh-huh~"  
  
…I’m in a bridle. She made a  _bridle_  out of her bikini top. I don't blame myself for not connecting the dots earlier. I was a little distracted. I wonder where she learned the knots. Did marine biology teach her these knots? What could she do to me if she had a proper length of rope?  
  
"Can we have at least one reunion party where you don't work your perverted witchcraft on some hapless bystander?!"  
  
"Mmm, but Karkat, he came on to me!"  
  
Damn right I did. I wiggle my head a little closer, as much as the bathing suit bridle will allow, and give her a few big licks. She gasps and squirms and the sound goes straight to my neglected erection.  
  
"I don't even know why I'm still here. This is the most depraved spectacle I've ever laid eyes on, and it's like, shutting down my common sense node or—for the love of God, I can't take this!"  
  
Feferi's legs loosen just enough to let me glimpse the little Vantas as he dodges around the edge of the bed. He's got a hand over his eyes and gropes around the drawer for whatever he needs. So this answers the question of whose room we were fucking in.  
  
She hasn't let up on the back of my head, so I stay the course. I find that rhythm that had her moaning "just like that" earlier and she makes this damn gorgeous trill that I wanna sample and listen to forever because it's a goddamn symphony in three seconds.  
  
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Little Vantas continues in this hysteric pseudo-mumble. "Is it too much to ask that you unlatch his mouth from your genitals while an unwilling and accidental voyeur is in the room? Just stop consuming her vagina for six seconds, then go back to gleefully licking your way to her little death which, by the way, I hope kills you both! Or at least kills me so I don't have to live with this trauma anymore!"  
  
“Oh— _Oh!_ —will you clam it?" Feferi scolds. "I'll tell you when the room is free, oh—okay?"  
  
"I don't think I can  _ever_  have sex in this room thanks to this scarring memory." Karkat blindly finds what he was looking for—a cord or something—and high-tails it out of there with a few more angry swears. Feferi starts to giggle. I laugh too, but it's kinda hard. It's more like I breathe at her pussy.  
  
"He won't care what we've done when you-know-who starts putting the moves on him," Feferi whispers to me. I hum, like I have a clue (or give a fuck) who you-know-who is. Feferi is the only one who matters right now. And what matters even more is the way she starts to twitch her hips ever so slightly. The only reason I can tell is her pelvis and my skull are very thoroughly acquainted with each other now. I grip my hands around Feferi's ankles and steel myself to do whatever it takes to get her off.  
  
I thank my no longer unlucky stars that Feferi knows how to make it happen. Due to a little soreness, she uses her bridle and hand to give me a new angle, and it's just a few more seconds before she's gripping my hair and gasping for breath.  
  
“Yes—Yes—Fuck, yes! Yes, God—!"  
  
I cut myself a little bit of slack and wrap one of my hands around my cock. She sounds so beautiful. Like a siren song. I rub fast as my tongue is flicking, like I want to come with her. Those rubber bands start feeling wicked tight, but it still feels good. I groan around my tongue as I keep going, and Feferi keeps crying, her pitch going off the charts and dang, does she have a sexy kind of soprano going on here.  
  
Her whole body tenses up for a few seconds. Like her thighs seal on my ears and press hard, almost enough to hurt. She tugs my hair and I feel her toes curl under my unoccupied hand and her moaning turns into this one, long, high note. Her hips jerk a little, like quick jolts, then slow. The whole of her unravels.  
  
I... I think that was a good thing. I think I made her come! Like actually have an orgasm! And they say the female orgasm is a Rubik's cube wrapped in an enigma and tied up with a riddle. But guess who made her come? Cronus Ampora, resident casanova. Wasn't even that hard.  
  
She gradually releases my face. I'm pretty grateful and astoundingly proud. She takes this opportunity to untie the bridle.  
  
"How are you feeling, Cronus?" she says. This goddamn angel.  
  
"You tell me," I say, kind of because I want to hear her praise me, but mostly because I want her to verify that 'it' happened.  
  
She laughs. "It was a lot of fun! Definitely hit the spot. But I want to know about you right now. Any chafing, burning, numbness?"  
  
Wait, are you supposed to ask questions like that? "No all around?" My jaw is sore but I remember the feeling from the dentist. It'll pass.  
  
"Wonderful!" She cards her fingers through my hair. My spine tingles and my dick throbs.  
  
"Mind, uh..." I can't make my mouth say the words. Like I know what I want more than I've wanted anything but I don't know Feferi's plan and its fucking me up.  
  
"Mind what?"  
  
“Mind telling me what happens now?"  
  
She smiles. "Now, pants off the rest of the way. Lie down on the bed. Head by the pillows, if you like."  
  
I do. My knees creak and I feel like a fucking idiot when I shuck off my pants and my cock is just hanging out there, but I end up on the bed, laid out like Feferi wants. She looks hotter than ever. She ruffles and flips her hair. Her nipples look so perky from the room-temp chill. I had my tongue between her legs like a minute ago. That's a picture burning into my mind forever. Definitely showing up next time I need to help myself a little.  
  
She takes her long fingers and very fucking slowly eases he rubber bands off of me. My cock is definitely redder than I've seen it before, but doesn't look too shabby. She drops the bands by my (Karkat's...) pillow, then rummages for a condom. What do you know, looks like the twerp does get laid sometimes. I wonder if Kankri knows.  
  
Feferi moves like a pro. She knows exactly how to open it up, unroll it a little, do that pinch thing and roll it down my cock. I think the weirdest part is how her hand doesn’t feel as warm. Maybe it would feel better to go bare back, but on the one hand, I have no frame of reference, and on the other, a wise old Porrim once said to me, "you know what feels worse than sex with a condom? No sex." Which has been my life so far, and may be my life hereafter if I decide to pitch a fit over contraception.  
  
Either way, I buck a little into the fluffer strokes she gives me once the condom is on. I’ve been wanting this long enough that I think the only way Feferi could ruin it is if she left. I have no idea what’s running through her brain now, not that I ever did. I can’t even decide where to look let alone what to think. Should I look at her feeling up my latex-clad dick? Her face, and that little smirk she’s got? Her tits, which are still perfect in case you forgot? I think I’m blinking a lot and I look pretty dumb but not so dumb I don’t want her to look at me.  
  
She leans a little closer to my ear. Some of her hair falls on my chest. “Do you want me to ride you?”  
  
“Yeez,” I say, some kind of fucked-up bastard child of ‘yes’ and ‘please.’ I correct myself, but she definitely heard ‘yeez’ first. Dammit. Feferi gives me a kiss on my forehead—my clean forehead—and hups herself from lounging by my side to straddled across my thighs.  
  
Oh god. She lifts herself up and inches closer, oh god. She spreads her pussy lips with one hand and takes my cock with the other, oh  _god_ , and then she shifts,  _god_ , and she presses it in, oh  _god_  oh god oh GOD!  
  
Long story short is, I last for about eight seconds. Nineteen strokes. I don't know how I managed to count both the time and the bounces before blowing it. But I figure, eight seconds is all it takes to win a bull riding contest. It’s also eighteen more strokes than I thought I’d last given the tense buildup, so yeah, I'm a true man. I can hold onto my spunk. And coming inside someone? Like, coming with another person there, warm and close?  
  
I think it’s even more beautiful than I imagined.  
  
In the aftermath I can’t think for a minute or two, but luckily Feferi is on top of shit. She pops out and gets back with a toothpaste cup of water and a wet washcloth. She holds back the water until I wipe my mouth, and that honest to god feels a lot better. We take turns taking gulps of water, but that runs out fast.  
 “…Did you ever drink that beer I got you?” I ask her.  
  
“Hehe, I don’t think so. I got a little distracted,” Feferi said. “But we could go get it now?”  
  
“That sounds great.”  
  
It takes me longer to get dressed than her, because all she’s got is that bikini, shorts, and some flip-flops while I have like, whole pants and a jacket and real shoes. Once I get clothed again, the sex feels less like it’s still happening, and more like it’s happened. Like it’s done. So now it’s just a memory, but a memory I never had before?  
  
That shit is definitely going in a song. I am going to write a whole goddamn album about the sex I had with Baby Fefishy. Probably not gonna talk about her as Baby Fefishy though, that’ll make me sound creepy, and I’m not creepy.  
  
I get Feferi that beer. I get one myself. There’s definitely fewer people at the party now, and a few people are either gone or being scarce—no sign of Eridan. Or Karkat. Maybe ‘you-know-who’ got to him.  
  
She gets me to open up about a lot after. Like what I really did up in New York, and how hard it was to get the time of day let alone a date. She tells me about growing up in Meenah’s shadow. Her big sister literally wants to take over the world, and has the drive and smarts to do it (I don’t think she can do it with a cake company though, honestly that’s just dumb). There’s a lot for Feferi to live up to, and a lot that she doesn’t want. I tell her about how it’s like, reverse for me. I can’t shake the feeling Eridan is going to do more with his life than I will. I’d never told anyone shit like that before.  
  
“I have to go back to school pretty soon,” she told me. “But I think I’d like to stay in touch.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah! Perfect! Here, let me get your number—”  
  
“How about emails instead?” she says. And for all that she says she doesn’t want to be like Meenah, they share that Last Word magic that shuts me down quick.  
  
“Emails?”  
  
“Yeah! You can tell me what you’re up to, how things are going… Just a few notes back and forth. Like pen pals!”  
  
“Pen pals with benefits, right?”  
  
“Pen pals who have a mutually respectful relationship and maybe have sex when they’re in the same city for more than a day,” she clarifies.  
  
“That sounds wonderful, sweetheart,” I say. And I smile. It’s not what I expected at all, but it sounds good. And that’s kind of everything Feferi has been so far. Not what I expected, but good. Amazing, even.  
  
She's pretty complicated like that. And I really like it.


End file.
